It is difficult to deal with a narcissist when you are a grown, independent, fully functioning adult. The children of narcissists have an especially difficult burden, for they lack the knowledge, power, and resources to deal with their narcissistic parents without becoming their victims. Whether cast into the role of Scapegoat or Golden Child, the Narcissist's Child never truly receives that to which all children are entitled: a parent's unconditional love. Start by reading the 46 memories--it all began there.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I have limitations, too...

We seem to have had a bit of confusion both here and in the group over the last day or two. I'd like to clear it up.

Like you, I am not at my computer 24/7...I am on it a lot, but I do need to take time to live my life as well, which includes shopping, spending time with my husband, sleeping and, in the case of this weekend, entertaining a visiting relative. When I am awake and away from my house, I keep in touch using my smart phone...I have both FaceBook and Gmail on the smartphone.

I do not, however, have PM (FaceBook Private Message) on the phone and that is by design. I installed it and uninstalled it the same day because it notified me of every update to my FaceBook account...not just the PMs...and the constant pinging was making me nuts. It interrupted my writing and research, relaxation and time out with Hubby...and there was no way to turn the notifications off.

What this means is that if you see me posting to the group, it does not mean I am home and on my computer. If I am logged in to my account, I could be logged in by phone and if that is the case, I can respond to posts in the group, but I will not even see PMs until I get home and log in on my laptop.

Also, I cannot do any group management from the phone, so I cannot add people to the group or do anything like that until I get to the laptop. I also cannot approve comments to the blog until I get home and get to the laptop.

Additionally, my phone has been acting like a prima dona this week--it is showing me emails when it damn well feels like it, NOT shortly after they were sent: today I received emails on my phone that arrived to the laptop last night... Also, I don't know if it is the phone, Gmail, or Blogger, but I am supposed to get Gmail notification when somebody comments on the blog...I got an unhappy email from a blog member this morning wanting to know why I haven't approved her comment from a day or two ago...well, the answer is, Gmail didn't tell me somebody made a comment, so now I will have to go into the blog and search for it so I can post and respond.

I need you all to know and understand that I am as limited by the needs of being human--and by the whimsy of technology--as much as you are. I do NOT ignore you or your messages or comments, I respond as soon as I can. I know how it feels to be ignored, especially when feeling upset, but I have no control over the technology and I MUST sleep and shop for groceries and keep my marriage alive and healthy. I need some patience and understanding from you guys because I really am doing the best I can with what I've got.

Hugs to you all.

Violet

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I don't publish rudeness, so please keep your comments respectful, not only to me, but to those who comment as well. We are not all at the same point in our recovery.

Not clear on what constitutes "rudeness"? You can read this blog post for clarification: http://narcissistschild.blogspot.com/2015/07/real-life-exchange-with-narcissist.html#comment-form